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292: “Offspring Are Blank” by Dirty Projectors

Totally conventional band photo. Totally normal band.This song affects me.

I usually type a lot of “original copy,” stuff my future grandkids won’t access with their Internet goggles, in the space that these words occupy.

But today, I’m cutting to the quick. Because… Dirty Projectors, I push play on this one, Swing Lo Magellan (2012), and I crap sideways.

Words are stupid. My doo-doo is sideways. Yet I can’t stop listening. Forget that you’re even reading this, and look away from me.

Enjoy the song before I stupid anymore. Grandkids, I love you. Make more of us.

Song: Offspring Are Blank
Artist: Dirty Projectors
Album: Swing Lo Magellan
Label: Domino Recording Co
Buy from: Amazon | iTunes
Listen: MOG | Spotify
Watch: YouTube

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291: “Southern Girls” by Cheap Trick

Guys, you're letting all the holy air out.This is a critical review of “Southern Girls” by Cheap Trick, from In Color (1977), written as a play-by-play listen-through:

The song begins with a banging drum intro, and the appropriate response is one/two raised eyebrows and a nodding head. You should probably look around (at your friends), like, “Oh yeah, this is a straight-ahead rock-n-roll jammer.”

The guitar comes in like a SCUD missile, which solidifies your estimation. This track is something worth moving your particles to.

The lyrics deftly rhyme… Cheap Trick is singing about Southern girls, who get out on the street and got nothing to lose. Don’t analyze that. No good can come of it. Pay attention to the way your body’s moving. Because if you’re paying attention with your reptile brain, by now you’re bobbing your head like you’re trying to trap a peanut on the back of your neck. That’s the important part.

The classic rock is loosening your firmament.

You should begin to truly emotionally connect in the first chorus, when Robin Zander sings “I feel crazy, and everyone says it.” You’re not sure what exactly this song is getting at, but you’ll make a hat out of hamster pelts if it’s not catchy as all get out.

And hold on a cotton-pickin’ second, what’s up with this bridge? Wow, a whole new high-intensity tune right in the middle of the song!!! My God, Southern Girls, what are you making Cheap Trick do?!?

Okay, we’re back to the first verse. Cheap Trick knows we like stability in a relationship. They stick to the format, which has been proven through several decades to effectively manifest recursive booty moving. Midwestern rock-n-roll so earthy it actually contains rocks and corn and cow hair.

Cheap Trick has achieved great success in the US, but nothing like they’ve seen in Japan. They’re bigger in Japan than decayed fermented squid bowels and panty vending machines put together, which would be awesome, btw.

I would listen to this song again. In fact, I have, and will. Many times.

That ends the official review. I am sweating.

Enjoy the music, if not my words.

Song: Southern Girls
Artist: Cheap Trick
Album: In Color
Label: EPIC/LEGACY
Buy from: Amazon | iTunes
Listen: MOG | Spotify
Watch: YouTube

290: “Your Love Gets Sweeter” by Finley Quaye

No, I won't adjust my hat, you silly goose.Finley Quaye is the artist praising the daily confectionary improvement of your love, from Maverick A Strike (1997).

I want to blare this song, at jet engine volume, into the face of assholes.

Maybe that makes me an asshole.

But my consideration of the perception of myself is an indication of a lack of assholery.

So, being somewhat upstanding, maybe I’m the one who should tell other people what they should do.

Or, maybe I should stop while I’m ahead and just be self-righteous.

Let’s just enjoy the music, and try to strike an asshole/self-righteous balance in our lives.

Song: Your Love Gets Sweeter Every Day
Artist: Finley Quaye
Album: Maverick A Strike
Label: 550 Music / Epic
Buy from: Amazon | iTunes
Listen: MOG | Spotify
Watch: YouTube