336: 7 Quotes, 7 Songs

Quotations and Aural Stimulations.
Spotify Playlist: 7 Quotes, 7 Songs

I believe the ability to think is blessed. If you can think about a situation, you can deal with it. The big struggle is to keep your head clear enough to think.
-Richard Pryor

“Chatter” by The Cheebacabra, from Exile in the Woods
Listen: Bandcamp


 

It’s a real primal thing, watching someone get hurt. It’s funny and accessible.
-Johnny Knoxville

“You’re So Good To Me” by Cocheme’a Gastelum, from The Electric Sound of Johnny Arrow


 

If we don’t believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don’t believe in it at all.
-Noam Chomsky

“Ticking Over” by Frootful, from Colours


 

You cannot reform your society or institution without opening your mind.
-Bashar al-Assad

“Still Burning (Feat. Jessica Fitoussi)” by Mister Donut & Ugly Mac Beer, from Modonut


 

There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we’d all love one another.
-Frank Zappa

“Golden” by Funki Porcini, from Le Banquet Cassio
Listen: Bandcamp


 

Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.
-Martin Heidegger

“Master of Life” by Khraungbin, from The Infamous Bill
Listen: LateNightTales


 

Our brains have been designed to blur the line between self and other. It is an ancient neural circuitry that marks every mammal, from mouse to elephant.
-Frans de Waal

“Firesticks” by Skeletons, from Smile

335: Suites 1-3, by RJD2

Come to Xenu.Transcript of un-aired Terry Gross interview with God.

TG: I would like to welcome our guest, the divine Creator, God. God, thank-you for joining us.

G: Glad to be here. Thanks for having me. This will be a good interview.

TG: Super! A good rating from the most important and omniscient critic ever! Okay, so I am going to get right down to one of the questions all my listeners want to know the answer to, and that is “Why are we here?”

G: To survive, really. That’s it. Fear, pain, consciousness… those are just tools you use to survive. Everything other than survival is first world problems and frankly, it’s academic. Love and morality is pretty cool, though. You guys should stick with all that as part of your overall survival plan. Because I said so. [Wink.]

TG: For those of you listening, God just winked at me, and it was magical. Do I taste chocolate? Wow, God winks, and you taste chocolate! That is fantastic. But what exactly do you mean by survival? Individual survival? Species survival? Or do you mean, like, our ideas?

G: I mean survival. The constant exertion of life and being. Existing rather than not, and the yearning to do so. I’m talking about that thing that makes a seedling reach toward the light and dig into the asphalt. It’s actually a force I just built in. It should work its way through your whole self, even if you’re broken. [pregnant pause] Honestly, Terry, I rather detest this line of questioning. I get that life is hard. If anyone gets it, I get it. But humans asking me “WHY?” all the time when they’re sitting in a universe that is absolutely Top Notch is downright perturbing. Don’t worry, Terry, I won’t fly off the handle here. Rumors of my temper have been greatly exaggerated. But let me tell you, it’s no walk in the park to create a universe from nothing, and one that doesn’t collapse immediately isn’t instant pudding, either. Do you know how many tries it took me to get yours just right? It’s grueling work, it is. And billions of years of development later, you humans and your “consciousness” wind up wanting to move out of the universe I made you, and into existences of your own confabulation before you’re even through with the one I made you… to answer the question why! It’s just sort of thankless, and frankly, beside the point.

TG: That’s amazing. I hadn’t really considered the question from that angle. Sorry, God! Leave it to God to come up with a new way for me to see things. Okay, next question. Isn’t it true that all religions are at least partially right, so far as they share a common theme of love and peaceful fellowship? Please elaborate in your own words.

G: It depends on what your definition of “is” is. [Wink.]

TG: Mmmm. Another wink. That time, it tasted like roast duck. Wow, I mean, that is something for us to take home… the definition of is. Okay, let me recover with a question about you. Ever been married?

G: Terry, I knew you were going to ask me that.

TG: Shut up!

G: No really, I did. Time and space are like my chest hair. This chest hair right here.

TG: God, are you flirting with me? Stick with the question, you’re not getting off that easy. I can’t believe you’re flirting with me! Your chest hair smells like a baby.

G: No, Terry, I am not married.

TG: Have you ever been? That would be, like, big news, you know, if you ever had been.

G: Sea otters.

TG: Sea otters? Say what you mean by that.

G: I speak in mysterious ways.

TG: So, is “sea otters” like a word puzzle, or a reference to a parable, or an anagram, maybe?

G: Okay, you got me. I once created a different universe, and in that universe I was married. It was a different timespace and something I don’t like to talk about in other continuums. “Sea otters” is just my safe word. I knew the producer forgot to tell you… but this is the best possible outcome for the interview, so I let the confusion stand.

TG: I am sorry I pressed you. And of course I will forgive my producer despite her grievous error. But, wow, I mean, sometimes I worry about what I am going to wear, or like, I will overthink something someone said to me. Another universe, though… That’s a lot heavier than having an ex or, you know, like, a timeshare.

G: I try to keep it real. The other universe, I mean. It’s not like there’s just a big BANG and you’re done with making a universe. It actually takes work from moment to moment to keep it real, and existing. I have to keep trying, or else it’ll sort of poof away.

TG: So, are you, like, straining right now, to keep our universe in existence?

G: No, I’m pretty used to it, but thanks for asking. That compassion part of humanity is especially cute, and almost makes up for the surly attitude the rest of the time. Keep that up. It’s nice to feel cared for. But don’t coddle me. I can take the shaking fists now and then. Shows you’re trying.

TG: Speaking of keeping things real, this body that you’re in. Do you always look like a bald, bearded, dark-skinned male human? I had sort of hoped you’d show up, you know, as a female, or maybe an inhuman orb of light emanating pure compassion. You sort of look like an old version of, like, the Shaft-era Isaac Hayes. When you can take the shape of anyone or anything, why Shaft-era Isaac Hayes?

G: Sea otters.

TG: Okay, next question. Can you tell me if humanity will ever conquer its selfish nature and put an end to war as we know it?

G: Good question. [Wink.]

TG: Mmmm. Wow, I felt that one all over. Strawberries and cream. You know, God, you just have a way of saying things. And God, I want to thank you so much for your time, and well, for everything! … Oh, God, you just turned into a beautiful blond woman!

G: Terry, I am embedding a hidden message inside three musical pieces by the artist RJD2. Don’t over-analyze it, but it’s important. And the message is hidden in a set of instrumentals, so you sort of have to figure it out on your own and apply your own meaning. The album is called More Is Than Isn’t, which may or may not also hold a hidden meaning. NPR won’t air this. In fact, this interview will exist solely in the form of an imagined transcript published on an obscure blog with a pitiful following and very few will ever know anything like the truth about anything. I work in ways mysterious.

Enjoy it.

Songs: Suite 1, Suite 2, Suite 3
Artist: RJD2
Album: More Is Than Isn’t
Label: RJ’s Electrical Connections
Buy: Amazon | iTunes
Listen: Spotify | YouTube

334: “One For The Trouble” by Lack of Afro

The Badass Hummingbird (Take Two)

Gonna getchaI swoop, slash, and drive your dull gullet far away from the nectar that fortifies these sweet pectorals. I am so badass.

Driven by an intimidating, inborn sense of style, I fly casually by your punk, low-nectar self, sitting on “your” feeder, and I taunt you. I show you how easy I think it is to take your juice, and, of course, you are afraid. I swoop, with a threat to bite the scruff on your neck, but infinitely more likely, you will take off when you see the flash of my plumage, the look in my eye, and the furious beat of my wind kickers.

As likely so, that later, when the sky quakes, and rain chases you beneath the cover of leaf, that the rumble of my wings will sound through the nightmares of your buzzing mind.

(
But now I pause in mid-air,
to share with you, bird to human,
an important fact I will divulge to no other like myself…

I am backed into a corner, and living every moment in fear it’s my last.
I make myself every minute of every day.
And I don’t remember anything before I became this way.

It’s exhausting work, but I rule with the ladies, and my DNA will march like a stallion across the fields of time.
)

The wrinkles in your pride, my fellow birds, diminish you, and I remain.
I am the steel arm of sunrise and sunset,
Come to sweep away the malefactions of your inferiority.
I will suck on the sweet, floral nipples of your desire, egg up your ladies, and I will do it for a prolonged, humiliating period.

For the stallion rides.

~~

Excess of FunkLack of Afro (a Brit named Adam Gibbons) makes sounds with his monkey wings, just taunting you to come at him, bro. Here is “One For The Trouble” from his 2014 release Music For Adverts.

Take some nectar, and enjoy your nervous flight along the edge of existence.

Artist: Lack of Afro
Album: Music for Adverts
Label: Freestyle Records
Buy from: Freestyle Records
Listen: YouTube

333: “1612” by Vulfpeck featuring Antwaun Stanley

Play it so good you want to get down and crawl.I had this 333 post all ready before today, with a story about the future, wherein President Matthew McConaughey, who is also a mad scientist, invents a thing the world has always needed, called the Empathy Cannon. It is a gun about the size of a doberman, and with it, one can bestow instant and absolute empathy for one’s condition upon the victim of the aptly named (I named it) Empathy Cannon.

But this morning I was overtaken by the Vulfpeck. Jack Stratton on everything, Theo Katzman on guitar and drums, Joe Dart on the bass, and Woody Goss on keys. This one features the astounding voice and emotive gesturing of Antwaun Stanley, riffing with righteous soul on the PIN code to his heart and Ford Motor products. I love this song so much I think I will just invent the Empathy Cannon myself, so I can show people what it does to me.

And as the Empathy Cannon fires its last, and falls from his dying grasp, President McConaughey mutters, “1612.” And EVERYONE GETS IT.

Enjoy.

Song: 1612
Artist: Vulfpeck, Featuring Antwaun Stanley
Album: Fugue State
Label: Vulf Records
Buy from: Vulfpeck.com
Watch: YouTube

332: “Guerreiro” by Curumin

The answer is right behind your right ear.I met a Scientologist recently who changed my mind about Scientology. You see, I was guilty of judging Scientology by the fact that it was created by a sci-fi author and more than seven hundred other reasons based on sound logic and elementary discernment.

But then a Scientologist named Keviin from North Hollywood gave me the gift of perspective.

From the moment Keviin and I first met, our connection was strong. We went directly into a man-hug right at the start of the handshake. I laughed naturally several times during pleasantries before noting that Keviin smelled like honeysuckle. When I commented on the aroma, Keviin showed me the honeysuckle gland all Scientologists manifest behind their ears as part of their development. The gland was invisible, but the smell was undeniable!

Color me intrigued, Keviin!!

Keviin further bolstered the legitimacy of a religion that markets expensive services to egocentric millionaires when he literally levitated.

Background on the levitation: Captain T. Cruise was having an horrific bowel movement right at that moment, which was communicated via a telepathic distress call for psychokinetic prostate massage. And when Keviin remotely massaged Tom Cruise’s prostate with his mind, his corporeal body hovered approximately 19 inches, or one TCU (Tom Cruise Unit, the height of one Tom Cruise), above the ground. The movement passed, and crisis was averted.

Keviin is now my life coach. We are actually on our way out the door, to hot grocery shop (like hot yoga, but with grocery shopping).

Before we go, I’d like to share a song with you that really complements the joy one derives from mocking another person’s core beliefs, like the ridiculous ones I had before I met Keviin.

Here’s “Guerreiro” by Curumin (Luciano Nakata Albuquerque), a Brazilian artist who marches to the beat of his own crazy set of electrical impulses. “Guerreiro” means “warrior” in Portuguese as long as someone speaking Portuguese is saying so.

Do remember, while it’s happening, to enjoy it.

Song: Guerreiro
Artist: Curumin
Album: Achados e Perdidos
Label: Quannum Projects
Listen: YouTube

331: Isolated Vocals of David Lee Roth, Michael Jackson

Uncle Funk’s Most Commandments
or
The Worst Vice Is Advice

InvincibleUncle Funk is most real when his eyes are locked with those of another terrestrial carbon unit in an unspoken reverence for the awesomeness of the universe into which all units have been vomited.

Uncle Funk is most alive when he is lost in an activity that engages his full being, when he ceases to exist as a self-aware entity, and escapes to the form of a pure force maneuvering with geometric precision.

Uncle Funk is most certain when he is dancing.

Uncle Funk is most significant when he is helping others, creating a richer world by his presence.

Uncle Funk is most lightly tethered when he ponders what it means to be living inside a mystery, wrapped inside a create-your-own-adventure story.

Uncle Funk is most satisfied when he is eating his mom’s home cooking.

Uncle Funk is most fulfilled after he works at length on a complex problem requiring the disciplined and rigorous application of skills crafted over days or years to accomplish a predetermined goal.

Uncle Funk is most humbled when he considers his species’ climb out of the swamp, past cataclysms and alternate histories, to shiver and cower in the brush, before swinging through the forest, to walk boldly upright, and finally, to march forward as the self he is today, a clump of sentient cells, an infinite sum in a lilliputian package, contemplating its own snapshot journey along the edge of the universe that nursed it.

~

Michael Jackson and David Lee Roth are all over space right now. Their voices are literally being carried, as you read and comprehend these words, on radio waves spanning and spreading across billions and billions of light years, planting the musical seeds of humanity across space and time.

Here are isolated vocals from Van Halen’s “Running With The Devil” and Michael Jackson’s “Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough.”

Enjoy them the most.

330: Mashups…

Pass the wizards, please.Salt and pepper shakers have been used since the dawn of space-time as a never-ending opportunity to artistically re-create pairs of other, non-salt-and-pepper-related items (shoes, sensory organs, vegetables, tiny people, left-handedness, etc.).‬

‪Flowering plants have DNA many times more complex than human DNA, yet flowering plants do not make salt and pepper shaker pairs of anything. Which begs the question.‬

‪What?‬

‪Yes, that is true. Salt and pepper shakers have been created in the likenesses of saints, serial killers, saints, and Bonanza characters. Even those.‬

‪If your life was a poem, and that poem was inside your DNA, written in pairs like salt and pepper, then it would be of a tolerable length and not like Ulysses as a flowering plant’s DNA would be.‬

‪And the poem itself might very well speak of the river of DNA that we recursive creatures compose and ride upon, as we churn out our shakers, impersonating our makers.‬

‪I am right now, sculpting salt and pepper shakers of my favorite bands. Which got me in the mind of mash-ups. Turns out there are some buttes out there.‬

‪I’ve selected a couple you can put into at least two pairs of sensory organs, at least while they last on YouTube…

‪Enjoee.‬

‪Led Zeppelin vs The Beatles – Whole Lotta Helter Skelter (Soundhog)‬

~

‪Rock in Black – Queen vs. AC/DC feat. Robert Plant & Friends‬

Mashup by Go Home Productions

329: “One On One” by Hall & Oates

from shirt.woot.comEvery being with the ability to be bored also knows that the best way to be, while living,  is to be lost in the moment. That is, to be so absorbed in whatever you are doing that you lose sense of time, and become “one” with the moment. Note that you can’t analyze whether you’re actually in the moment while you’re in the moment, or that will pull you out of the moment, like someone shouting “purple cow!” in your face right as you start to sneeze.

Then there are those beings with the ability to be bored, the ability to understand that the best way to be, while living, is to be lost in the moment, and the critical thinking to seek to understand what else one might do with this pesky self-awareness business that usually just keeps getting in the way of the good times.

And then there are beings who use their conscious choices to lead to deeply meditative trance states, during which they get on the Internet and introduce totally slamming musical selections with vaguely existential ramblings in an attempt to share a fleeting but meaningful connection with a few friends and family… mostly random strangers.

So, here is “One On One,” a classic hit from Hall & Oates that I took for granted as I played Moon Patrol while couples were roller skating to it in its heyday. Darryl Hall had some pipes I didn’t truly appreciate. If you listen, you’ll notice he shows off his falsetto/manvoice transitions like a damn peacock strutting his vocal chords and/or tail in this song. And Oates totes his mustache throughout the whole song, like an inverted peacock tail (to run with the theme), using his virulent keratin production as a clear sign of health and fertility to 80’s babes who might have needed porking.

Enjoi.

Song: One On One
Artist: Hall & Oates
Album: H2O
Label: RCA
Buy from: Amazon | iTunes
Listen: MOG | Spotify | Rdio | YouTube

328: “The Rich (And The Poor)” by Keith Jarrett

Can you smell it?

from arttattler.com

What can YOU do with your body? Yeah, maybe you can jump. Maybe you can dance. Maybe you can do everything it takes to live a transcendental life in a material world.

But can you sneeze just by thinking about it? Probably not. You most likely have to tickle your nose or pluck a nose hair to elicit a sneeze from your body machine.

In a sneeze event, your body takes control and makes some serious, multiple-horsepower adjustments to your run-of-the-mill exhalation. It’s your body’s involuntary, evolutionary, survival reflexes that make your superhuman sneeze an everyday event… caused by a simple, tickling trigger. Which begs the questions:

What else could you achieve with this body you wear,
if you knew how to tickle out other “sneeze events” from it?

Could you lift a car?

Could you leap higher than holy globbit?

Could you make the world around you a better place with your attitude, your effort, and your smile?

Could you do what you couldn’t do before, because you didn’t have the strength?

I think you could. And I think we can.

We need to tickle our metaphorical nose hairs, and pluck a few if we’re desperate! Because there is secret power inside us all, inside our body machines and inside our mind machines. Our role model is as familiar as the noses on our faces and faster than a speeding locomotive, excluding the mag-lev ones.

What kind of sneezes are inside you, just waiting for the right tickle?

~~

Bullet: Here’s a classic Keith Jarrett track that I groove to while I center my Chi and eat Krystal burgers with mayonnaise fries. It’s called “The Rich (And The Poor)” and rigorous, independent lab tests concur this song encourages healthy digestion with clean, liberating movements.

Bullet: Here’s a list of the elements resulting in the eruptive exhalation called “Treasure Island (1974): Keith Jarrett played piano. Dewey Redman played tenor saxophone. Charlie Haden played bass. Paul Motian played drums & percussion. The surging plume is superhuman. Listen closely to hear Keith letting go of some woo’s during his piano solo between the 2 and 3 minute marks.

Bullet: Enjoy.

Song: The Rich (And The Poor)
Artist: Keith Jarrett
Album: Treasure Island
Label: GRP
Buy from: Amazon | iTunes
Listen: MOG | Rdio | Spotify | YouTube

327: “Busbarn” by Skerik’s Syncopated Taint Septet

Taint it something?I’m a dream ninja.

I have the ability to control and explore my dreaming mind once I realize I’m dreaming. Many people have lucid dreams. I’ve gone beyond lucid dreaming, to meticulously plotted dream exploration and mastery.

Before I sleep, I create a mental list of the areas to explore once I set the reins on the stallion of my dreaming mind. I fly. I invent. I love. I play masterful music on instruments I’ve never touched. I ride wild beasts. I become the beasts I ride. I explore space and seek out extra-terrestrial life. I transform into energy and join myself with stars.

Some dreams, I find myself in traps set by own mind. Nightmare thoughts that contort to ensnare me. It took a while to figure out the ways out of my own thought traps. I’m wiser now, and I’ve created a device in my dreams that allows me to jump free every time. It’s a panic switch, and it took dream science to create.

I can’t think about it much while I’m awake, or I’ll lose it while I’m asleep. The dream science is what got me in trouble. It attracted… attention. A whole new level of dreams lies beneath our own. I found it… and them.

I’m selecting songs for them here. I’m giving them a glimpse of the human world they’re so curious about. They’re curious beyond imagination, about this beautiful world, the living dream.

~~

I arrest my existential stagings to introduce a most emblematic symbol of the rising tide of the dream-based manifest destiny. It’s the music of Skerik’s Syncopated Taint Septet. The Taintly 7 surf the great wave of the improvising human consciousness, honed over millennia to thrive in novel situations.

This track is “Busbarn” from Skerik’s Syncopated Taint Septet (2003). Another favorite is “Summer Pudding” from Live At The Triple Door (2010). Skerik is constantly touring with a different amalgam of amazing musicians, and always worth a nocturnal intermission.

Do enjoy.

Song: Busbarn
Artist: Skerik’s Syncopated Taint Septet
Album: Skerik’s Syncopated Taint Septet
Label: ropeadope
Buy from: Amazon | iTunes
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