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332: “Guerreiro” by Curumin

The answer is right behind your right ear.I met a Scientologist recently who changed my mind about Scientology. You see, I was guilty of judging Scientology by the fact that it was created by a sci-fi author and more than seven hundred other reasons based on sound logic and elementary discernment.

But then a Scientologist named Keviin from North Hollywood gave me the gift of perspective.

From the moment Keviin and I first met, our connection was strong. We went directly into a man-hug right at the start of the handshake. I laughed naturally several times during pleasantries before noting that Keviin smelled like honeysuckle. When I commented on the aroma, Keviin showed me the honeysuckle gland all Scientologists manifest behind their ears as part of their development. The gland was invisible, but the smell was undeniable!

Color me intrigued, Keviin!!

Keviin further bolstered the legitimacy of a religion that markets expensive services to egocentric millionaires when he literally levitated.

Background on the levitation: Captain T. Cruise was having an horrific bowel movement right at that moment, which was communicated via a telepathic distress call for psychokinetic prostate massage. And when Keviin remotely massaged Tom Cruise’s prostate with his mind, his corporeal body hovered approximately 19 inches, or one TCU (Tom Cruise Unit, the height of one Tom Cruise), above the ground. The movement passed, and crisis was averted.

Keviin is now my life coach. We are actually on our way out the door, to hot grocery shop (like hot yoga, but with grocery shopping).

Before we go, I’d like to share a song with you that really complements the joy one derives from mocking another person’s core beliefs, like the ridiculous ones I had before I met Keviin.

Here’s “Guerreiro” by Curumin (Luciano Nakata Albuquerque), a Brazilian artist who marches to the beat of his own crazy set of electrical impulses. “Guerreiro” means “warrior” in Portuguese as long as someone speaking Portuguese is saying so.

Do remember, while it’s happening, to enjoy it.

Song: Guerreiro
Artist: Curumin
Album: Achados e Perdidos
Label: Quannum Projects
Listen: YouTube

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288: “Good Hope” by Ray Barbee

All right, let's get some promo shots of your right beard.A pre-historic man walks into a small cave he considers sacred. He uses a hunk of charred firewood he’s carried for several miles with which to draw a nearly photographic rendering of an IKEA living room suit on the cave wall. The IKEA living room suit will not have been designed for another 64 thousand years and change. The pre-historic man exits the cave and poops in the woods on the way to his home, a cave that isn’t very sacred. He eats roast mastadon for dinner on the cave porch and smiles in the firelight at the stanky cave children whose future he works so diligently for.

This vision has been brought to you by the song “Good Hope” by Ray Barbee, which creates fictional narratives in your head if you walk from east to west whilst you listen, from In Full View (2005). Ray Barbee starred with Julia Childs on several dramatic films directed by Clint Eastwood, and his musical career is as filled with wonder as those existentially provocative productions were.

I am a scientist with objective illumination emanating from my deepest core.

I implore you to enjoy the light.

Song: Good Hope
Artist: Ray Barbee
Album:  In Full View
Label: Galaxia
Buy from: Amazon | iTunes
Listen: MOG | Spotify

269: “Do That There” by Lyrics Born

Hello, I am the body that contains the voice that belies its container.Lyrics Born is a rapper with a high white-dude affinity quotient. He not only enunciates, but he’s got absurd lyrics that a worry-free cracker can really appreciate. For instance, he makes a reference to Bananarama, Atlantis, Santana, and a spatula within a 12 second span on this track.

So, for some rap artistry that won’t tax your (honkey) conscience, check out “Do That There” from Later That Day… (2003) or the Young Einstein Remix, from Same !@#$ Different Day (2005).

Enjoy.

Song: Do That There
Artist: Lyrics Born
Album: Later That Day…
Label: Quannum Projects
Buy from: Amazon | iTunes
Listen: MOG | Spotify
Watch: YouTube

Song: Do That There  (Young Einstein Hoo-Hoo Mix)
Artist: Lyrics Born
Album: Same !@#$ Different Day
Label: Quannum Projects
Buy from: Amazon | iTunes
Listen: MOG | Spotify
Watch: YouTube

265: “Reveribletop” by Steve Spacek

Can't play basketball like Prince.Prince pollenated the brain of Steve Spacek. Prince’s thick, swollen music-pollen landed with a thud on Steve’s stigma, inside the pistil of his brainflower. This song, “Reveribletop,” from Space Shift (2005) is evidence supporting the parental claim.

Why do I write words? My hope is that I’m popping some pollen into your stigma right now. Pop. Pop. Pop. Is your brainflower sticky and receptive?

Just enjoy the transmission, and get on down.

If you’re not grossed out.

Song: Reveribletop
Artist: Steve Spacek
Album: Space Shift
Label: Sound In Color
Buy from: Amazon
Listen: MOG
Watch: YouTube

261: “Go Je Je” by Antibalas

Maybe if this band took white slaves back to Africa...You are a child of Africa whether you’re white as sin or black as a ghost…

Antibalas is an American band with a sound based on an African “afrobeat” style that was heavily influenced by exported American funk and jazz, which was itself borne from souls brought to America who were stolen from African lands centuries before.

And Antibalas is in no way affiliated with the gag-inducing, depressing tone of this blog post. Sorry, I thought it was sounding cool, but it’s a downer. I’m pretty sad right now. But not real sad, of course. I’m just white-and-fat-sad. Luckily, I can just end the paragraph.

That’s better. Now, let’s listen to this song together and see if we can find our joy again.

Enjoy.

Song: Go Je Je
Artist: Antibalas
Album: Government Magic
Label: AfroSound Records
Buy from: Amazon | iTunes
Listen: MOG | Spotify
Watch: YouTube

256: “Tema De Los Golden Stars” by Los Golden Stars

Best picture available on the Internet. Awesome.For those of you like me, who didn’t even know there was a LESS than complete compilation of Peruvian underground music from a specific decade, I’m here to tell you that the MOST complete compilation of Peruvian underground music (1964-74) can be found on the Vampisoul label, based out of Spain (I think). It’s called Back to Peru, Vol 1 (2005) and you can experience it with minimal effort. Probably just some clickity clicking.

It’s remarkable what is out there for you to experience… Consider this: The world is bigger, EVEN, than the world’s largest collection of salt & pepper shakers, which is itself almost beyond the comprehension of the human mind. Name anything. ANY thing. There are salt & pepper shakers of that thing. Watermelon? Check. Disdain for the University of Alabama? Check. Thong underwear? Check. Dada-ism? Check. Porcine copulation? Check. Theory of Relativity? Check. Whatever. Whatever? Check.

There is data somewhere proving all this, and there are salt & pepper shakers representing that data. They’re just precious.

And should you choose, you may, in this wide wide world, listen to some 50-year-old Peruvian underground music, whilst seasoning your meals with whatever-damn-shaped seasoning dispensers you so desire.

As your host, I now suggest listening to “Tema De Los Golden Stars” by Los Golden Stars, a band whose promotional salt & pepper shakers I will now use to season my world famous Uncle Funk Lobster ‘n’ Cap’n Crunch Burritos… Just kidding. My burritos are perfect.

Enjoy.

Song: Tema De Los Golden Stars
Artist: Los Golden Stars
Album: Back To Peru, Vol 1
Label: Vampisoul
Buy from: Amazon | iTunes
Listen: MOG | Spotify
Watch: YouTube

223: “Do What You Wanna” by Ramsey Lewis (Mr. Scruff’s Soul Party Remix)

Guy still looks good. Got no smart ass comments.Getcha some of this: Ramsey Lewis all re-worked by versatile mix-master, Mr. Scruff. If you’re alone, listen to this song right now. Just close your eyes and pretend you’re in the middle of the dance floor, and get into it. Stop reading this. Remember you have to make time to get down.

“Do What You Wanna” comes off a 2005 release, one in a series from the Verve record label, Verve/Remixed, wherein mixologists re-work Verve’s varied, decades-long catalog to mixed success.

Another standout track to put in your ear holes is the UFO remix of Sarah Vaughan’s classic rendition of “Summertime.”

(New Wilco came out today.) Enjoy.

Song: Do What You Wanna (Mr. Scruff Soul Party Remix)
Artist: Ramsey Lewis
Album: Verve/Remixed
Label: Verve
Buy from: Amazon | iTunes
Listen: MOG | Spotify
Watch: YouTube